Amy vs. the Treadmill

I am the type of person that looks to the universe for signs.  I believe in ghosts and believe there is a reason for everything, almost everything.  Maybe there are some things I don’t understand, for instance 9/11, but when it comes to romance, relationships, and certain events in my own life I believe the universe is talking.

When I walked into the gym this morning I had not had a conversation yet with the universe so I was feeling optimistic.  I put out to the world (and to all 10 people who actually read this) that I am planning to run a half marathon, and soon.  This requires training, which means running. Considering that it is 31 degrees outside my training is relegated to a treadmill.  Not a problem, I joined a new gym in December so I am ready.  My gym is cool, so cool that they host a fundraiser every February called Cycle For Survival.  They close down the entire gym for the day  and teams come in and spin throughout the day to raise money for cancer.  The gym moves the equipment out and puts spin bikes in the entire gym.  It’s like Soul-Cycle came in and threw up everywhere.

So Monday morning everything should be back to normal, should be being the operative words.  I am a creature of habit so I run on the same treadmill every time.  This is not that weird. Ask any runner about their habits and you will see they are extremely ritualistic.  Since I have been using the same treadmill, I have noticed the same people using the same treadmills all around me.  There is the extraordinarily thin girl who must use the same treadmill every day while watching Fox News or the older woman who actually battles the same girl for the treadmill, that’s always entertaining.  This morning as I walked to my treadmill I was pleasantly surprised to see out of the 3 treadmills I use only one was in use, the middle one.  Behind the first one on the floor was a maintenance guy doing who knows what but he was on the floor and I had to walk around him to get to the third and final treadmill.  Had the treadmills been in their normal spots this would not have been a difficult task.  However, when the treadmills went back to their spots after Cycle for Survival, the gym did not leave enough room between the treadmill and the wall.  There was not enough room for me to actually walk through to my treadmill, but, I did not know this until it was too late.  As I walked past the treadmill that was in use, my leg brushed against it. I then proceeded to fall onto the treadmill as the person was running, I scraped my shins, flipped over, twisted myself like a pretzel, and landed on my back.  That not being enough, I then proceed to fly off the treadmill toward the window, hitting a garbage can and promptly landing with the garbage can on top of me as I lay crumpled in front of the window.  My back and pride all hurting at the same time.  Did I mention the runner on the treadmill in an attempt to save her own life lost her shoes? I could not make this up. 

I really did not know what to do.  As I was laying on the floor I decided to get my big ass up and try to act like everything was normal.  If normal includes the whole club stopping what they’re doing to run over to the middle aged hag laying in a heap at the end of a treadmill with a garbage can on top of her.  After I got up I was promptly offered an ambulance ride to the nearest ER.  After I declined that I sat there with ice on my back while the trainers repaired my mangled legs.  I spent the next 45 minutes trying to figure out if I was ok.  Was I ok? I have no idea.  I didn’t hit my head so there is that comfort.

So do I need to look deeper into what the universe is telling me? Should I read into this that I should not be running this race and I should find a different goal? I say no.  I say the universe is telling me to plow ahead.  I think the universe is testing me to see how far I can be pushed and I am not giving in.  I put it out there and I am doing.  So, although I am in extreme pain and can barely walk, I am going to take this as a sign that I need to finish my goal.  This was a test and even though I may have to run as a handicap athlete I am going to do it.  It’s my official F you to the universe.  You can knock me down, suck out my estrogen, and continuously humiliate me but I am not backing down.

So, next week when I feel better (and I better feel better) I’m going to take my bruised ego and ass back to the gym, get on that treadmill and pray that the universe is too busy screwing with the world to bother screwing with me.

                                                                  (how I felt after the “incident”)